Brethern and sisteren, the jewel in Chicken Cottage's crown, Tooting branch, has been shut down. I hope it's temporary, there's a police cordon and the windows have been blacked out, plus a police van is parked outside with a satellite dish on top. Serious stuff. I nervously asked a policeman what happened, he said a stabbing took place last night. He then asked if CC is my restaurant of choice, I nodded "I've got to go to Dallas chicken now". He paused seeming to understand the gravity of the situation, adding solemnly "not the same is it?"
People, why can't we just get a long/eat in peace?
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
Receptionists havin' a laugh
When walking into my Dr's waiting room to pick up a repeat prescription for my mum I was greeted by uncontrollable laughter. The receptionists could barely speak so I waited until they stopped. I kept a smile on my face, being serious would somehow be seen as disapproving "look at me, I can keep a straight face, why can't you?"
They didn't stop.
What to do? So I did some voice projection to be heard above the din and asked for the prescription. The receptionists were embarrassed but they couldn't stop, well one couldn't the other was doing quite well. I found myself hoping she would explode into laughter too, it did make me tense, like anticipating awful inevitability injury at the beginning of Casualty does; was she going to rupture some organ by containing the power of mirth?
The main laughing receptionist, knowing that this was strange, stopped long enough to say "I'm sorry there's something wrong with us" and carried on. She had surrendered to the funniness, I think the awkwardness probably made it funnier. She had nothing to lose now. I could empathise, anyway I shuffled off before I spent too long understanding the scene otherwise I'd look like I was staring.
"HA HA HA HA!" I bellowed on my way out. No I didn't, I'm British and I'd have to pop in again at some stage.
Please comment to list all the ways to improve this story.
They didn't stop.
What to do? So I did some voice projection to be heard above the din and asked for the prescription. The receptionists were embarrassed but they couldn't stop, well one couldn't the other was doing quite well. I found myself hoping she would explode into laughter too, it did make me tense, like anticipating awful inevitability injury at the beginning of Casualty does; was she going to rupture some organ by containing the power of mirth?
The main laughing receptionist, knowing that this was strange, stopped long enough to say "I'm sorry there's something wrong with us" and carried on. She had surrendered to the funniness, I think the awkwardness probably made it funnier. She had nothing to lose now. I could empathise, anyway I shuffled off before I spent too long understanding the scene otherwise I'd look like I was staring.
"HA HA HA HA!" I bellowed on my way out. No I didn't, I'm British and I'd have to pop in again at some stage.
Please comment to list all the ways to improve this story.
Monday, May 28, 2007
KiLliNg yOU StoYcAllY
I am now pronouncing "Stoic" correctly but feel I have lost on some matter of principle. Phonetic breakdown (<-- feel free to use as a one-hit wonder band name) is Stow-ic, I said it how it's spelt Stoyc. But you knew that already my smug phantom reader, didn't you? Why do you mock me with phantom tuts and sighs? A shoulder massage wouldn't go a-miss. Why don't you make yourself useful and make me a fried egg sandwich? Again with the tutting.
Other words that I have mispronounced are "oven" and "pizza" (<-- when I was a very young though, I tell you I gave my teacher and the rest of the kids what for). I soon realised my parents weren't infallible, imitation was now out! I sought consolation but they weren't inflatable either. That's when Marvel comics became of primary importance to me, they all can do stuff in there.
I still pronounce "oven" wrong sometimes and wince in expectation of an immigration officer in a cap and an off-the-shoulder number saying "Passport?"- in an Indian accent mind. So many tuts and sighs! It sounds like a human beatbox here. Quite fooonky, funkayy. Yes funky is allowed to be mispronounced. Free at last, free at last. I am quite enjoying the beatbox. Ahh hah! It's is flailing and sputtering- the phatom reader has no power for I have found it's Kryptonite. You is my tool for entertainment/bitch now. Cor, you're makin' a right meal of it, not very stoyc. Hahahahh, can't even tut now can ya? Excuse me while I fetch my limited edition kicking shoes signed by the Dalai Lama.
Other words that I have mispronounced are "oven" and "pizza" (<-- when I was a very young though, I tell you I gave my teacher and the rest of the kids what for). I soon realised my parents weren't infallible, imitation was now out! I sought consolation but they weren't inflatable either. That's when Marvel comics became of primary importance to me, they all can do stuff in there.
I still pronounce "oven" wrong sometimes and wince in expectation of an immigration officer in a cap and an off-the-shoulder number saying "Passport?"- in an Indian accent mind. So many tuts and sighs! It sounds like a human beatbox here. Quite fooonky, funkayy. Yes funky is allowed to be mispronounced. Free at last, free at last. I am quite enjoying the beatbox. Ahh hah! It's is flailing and sputtering- the phatom reader has no power for I have found it's Kryptonite. You is my tool for entertainment/bitch now. Cor, you're makin' a right meal of it, not very stoyc. Hahahahh, can't even tut now can ya? Excuse me while I fetch my limited edition kicking shoes signed by the Dalai Lama.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Memorable Quote
"It's part of our complex history that we're surrounded by beauty that was funded by atrocity" -Mark Steel 23 May 2007 "The Independent"
An update for all my fans!
I had a lovely cuppa today. I still get a thrill as I remember the sun dancing playfully on the surface as I recklessly added a splash of milk and watched it fight,then mingle with the tea, all the while undaunted, I stirred the brew to it's full glory. Due to my devil may care attitude and thin moustache (for I am a bounder) I perched a cheeky Custard Cream biccy on the side. Dats how I'm rollin'.
Hey and to all my girls out derr- I love ya!
Hey and to all my girls out derr- I love ya!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Too little sleep fish
I went to Billingsgate, to check out how God went wild on the designing board.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Monday, November 13, 2006
Jack and the Magic Question Evasion
What do you think was your biggest mistake as Foreign Secretary? TAHSIN BHANJI, by e-mail
Good question. The only people who never make mistakes are those who never make decisions.
Tell me one good thing you have ever done in politics. ROB HANSON, Brighton
Here are five: blah blah blah
Good question. The only people who never make mistakes are those who never make decisions.
Tell me one good thing you have ever done in politics. ROB HANSON, Brighton
Here are five: blah blah blah
- Apples n Pears = stairs
- Question evasion = illegal invasion
A Twee Description About Pangs of Outrage at Foreign Policy
I'm a bit better now it's out.
From bitter to better
And to bitter again, no doubt.
Pam Ayres would be proud. If you go to the link you may want to turn off your speakers. Be it on your head. You may want to fill it with lead. I just can't help myself.. MC Sif on da mic and not on a trike... do u like spud u like?
From bitter to better
And to bitter again, no doubt.
Pam Ayres would be proud. If you go to the link you may want to turn off your speakers. Be it on your head. You may want to fill it with lead. I just can't help myself.. MC Sif on da mic and not on a trike... do u like spud u like?
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Self-harm and other coping mechanisms
Not done a heavy post for a while, I've been prompted to by the news that cases of self-harm are rising, particularly amongst British Asians.
From what I've seen it is often (but not always) early childhood trauma in many cases that lead to self-harming and other kinds of releases like drug addictions and even extremism. The trauma and upset happening at such a young age means the person doesn't know what is going on or see the resulting thought patterns that lead to self-harming etc as a coping mechanism- even if it is more clearly manifested in later life. This makes it difficult to come out of because the person him or herself doesn't understand it. It seems that people going through this often have at root low self-esteem and a perplexing sense of lack of control in some areas of life (a feeling their life is not their own and they can't impact on it by their own action) even though they are intrinsically capable.
From what I've seen it is often (but not always) early childhood trauma in many cases that lead to self-harming and other kinds of releases like drug addictions and even extremism. The trauma and upset happening at such a young age means the person doesn't know what is going on or see the resulting thought patterns that lead to self-harming etc as a coping mechanism- even if it is more clearly manifested in later life. This makes it difficult to come out of because the person him or herself doesn't understand it. It seems that people going through this often have at root low self-esteem and a perplexing sense of lack of control in some areas of life (a feeling their life is not their own and they can't impact on it by their own action) even though they are intrinsically capable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)