Existential crises, yeah we all have ‘em.

You know I threatened to get all heavy on yo ass. Well this is it (Run DMC). I am clinging on to this blog with my finger tips and breathing life into its flaccid body. Yup at the same time, clever trick eh?

I hope this entry serves as consolation for any passing reader who needs it no matter how slight. I'm not sure it works on me, it may at some level, but don’t let that put you off.

OK what do we want? Yup good guess, we want “The rapture of being alive” a phrase coined by Joseph Campbell. Can we get there when coping with everyday reality can be so challenging? Well may be if we accept there is no one meaning of life waiting to be discovered. Humans “give” meaning to their existence.

Some optimists say that all our lives are contributing to a higher purpose and an unknowable reality is sustained by our existence and eventual death. That’s cool, it’s just it doesn’t stop the brain from wondering about the weirdness of being here and making the best of the time during this existence. The brain is well annoying. I think it is nice to have the thought that in a later unending existence the unknowable becomes clear. Though someone always has to put the spanner in the works by saying what if the next existence, if there is one, continues to be as perplexing the current one but never-ending

What our real fear is that we never really savour or consummate our being in time. It’s a not unusual (Tom Jones) to feel out of phase with life it’s as if time as we live it is something we cannot fully experience. I guess that’s why photographs are not seen as an anachronism despite the advent of the moving image.

Some say what is significant in life, and what makes us feel our own lives are significant, involves participation in the creative acts. I warm to this one.

Meaningfulness in life does not mean there is happiness in life and visa-versa. You need both to define the good life. A guy who was into having a mission in life was George Bernard Shaw and he said the following in an interview:

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognised in yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. And also the only real tragedy in life is being used by personally minded men for purposes which you recognise to be base. All the rest is at worst mere misfortune and mortality; this alone is misery, slavery, hell on earth; and the revolt against it is the only force that offers a man’s work to the poor artist, whom our personally minded rich people would so willingly employ as pander buffoon, beauty monger, sentimentaliser, and the like.”

A bit harsh that, circumstances can have their own tyranny which may have little to do with a regime you live under. “Mere” misfortune could be grinding poverty or painful ill-health. It is well put though and can be inspiring for some. He had a way with words.

If you know what you are good at, what you derive pleasure from (and not everyone does) and it causes no harm to others, go for it. You are fortunate, may you fulfil your potential. Purpose and direction can come in many forms though and it’s good not to be slack and recognise why you do what you and apply some critical thinking. Are you being obedient to and gaining status along with other goodies from the wrong people or ideals in order to pursue your thing. Basically, are you making things worse or better? This is one of Google’s founding principles: “Don’t be evil.”

Weirdly, some people do find relief through the forced purpose and direction dictated by tyranny. The minimising of choices rid them of uncertainty and existential anxiety, which is why many still mourn Stalin as cruel as he was. This force of nature business that Shaw mentions is pretty cool and some manage to seem like one, Muhammad Ali always springs to mind. In reality people, Ali included, have too many sides to them to become a force of nature in one particular direction be it compassion or aggression. I like this, life is richer as a result.

You could have ignored all the above and read this paragraph:

The first requirement for preserving and perfecting life involves allegiance to the potentialities in us that constitute our natures within us. We cannot truly be ourselves if we drift with the times, passively submit to other people’s desires, or refuse to face up to what we want and what we do. The acceptance of our nature which does not mean compliant acquiescence in faults we can remedy is essential for living a meaningful life. It is because we accept nature we can improve it. We show respect for what it is even while we alter it in pursuing ideals. If you do this things should feel pretty good, as long as you are not too selfish about it; getting the balance right is not easy. Not everyone is at a point where they have a clue about their potentialities or natures. If you do, think yourself blessed, and don’t squander the blessing. Try and unlock other people's natures along the way. This is what good teachers who are beloved by old students are remembered for. It’s a great thing to do.

OK now for the confusing stuff. We’re getting elemental, life and death, the above wouldn’t have any relevance for the suicide-heads but this stuff would be more consoling:

An ideal many saints and mystics have tried to attain is to be able to love the entire universe- a tall order. Can you love things you don’t understand? Or a virus growing inside you that may kill you. If we cannot love all things, a guy called Irving Singer says we can at least treat them as candidates for love. Now the stretch in ourselves: We have no reason to love this virus. It affirms its need to live with the same urgency we feel in wanting to destroy it. However, in realising that we attack it merely because we want to stay alive, and not because of any supreme legitimacy on our part, we recognise its equivalent claim, accept it as a kindred being, and thus identify ourselves with it to some degree. By extension the cosmos also becomes a candidate for love. May be this will help to deal with any big tragedy that may befall us. Pretty major people have echoed this way of thinking Nietzsche called it amor fati, Santayana decribed it thus: “to love the love in everything.” I told you it was a stretch. One I cannot make, or have not been driven to make and am unsure whether I would want to.

The implication is that all things love themselves in their passionate focus on survival and perfection of their being. We cannot fathom all the varied and conflicting interests of living things, many of which seem self-defeating, but we are capable of imagining something equivalent to what we experience: will to self-preservation.

In making this act of acceptance it is hard to refute arguments of those who have renounced eating meat or animal products for ethical reasons. There is at least some value or respect bestowed towards nature even when we try to annihilate it. Essentially when you are wondering at and loving the love (self-love) in all things you give them value. Irving Singer says that if we neglect bestowing some value to things around us to this we lose out on creating a more significant life for ourselves. I am not sure how, probably because you begin to see value on a more basic or real(?) plane. My man Irving seems echo this:

“By pursuing this ideal, like religion we add a dimension to our experience beyond our practical or material necessities. It enlarges our being from self-regarding beings to that much of nature that seeks to protect and perfect life. Scarily small and isolated as we are, we in this way can establish our oneness with the rest of universe.” Apparently this mode helps those that believe, understandably, that nothing matters. This is because life will seem and hence will be more significant to him. I paraphrased a bit but whatdyareckon?

This reminds me of sherpa Tensing and Sir Edmund Hillary when they “conquered” Everest. Hillary’s reaction to this achievement was having a drink with his mates, cheering and proclaiming“we knocked it’s bloody head off”. Sherpa Tensing and his fellow sherpa mates were much quieter, they were humbled, offered prayers and felt a connection and respect for the mountain. Something that one of Edmund’s mates was struck by and impressed with.

Philosophy may help to cleanse our thinking, but only in experience and stumbling through life and reflecting on our moments of joy and despair, can we learn to live. It’s never bloody easy is it? Well if you have managed to read all this and maintained some interest I congratulate you (“You knocked it’s bloody head off!”). It means not only do you wonder and think, but that you are not hungry and you have a roof over your head.

Have a go it's interesting..

Free Myers-Briggs-Jung Personality Test

It seems pretty good to me. Try it, it's fun and be honest it tells you your personality type. So you can catergorise yourself, producing shiney new shackles to free yourself from.

I am an ISTJ
Introverted 70% Extroverted 30%
Sensing 51.22% Intuitive 48.7%
Thinking 62% Feeling 37.5%
Judging 55% Perceiving 44.44%