KiLliNg yOU StoYcAllY

I am now pronouncing "Stoic" correctly but feel I have lost on some matter of principle. Phonetic breakdown (<-- feel free to use as a one-hit wonder band name) is Stow-ic, I said it how it's spelt Stoyc. But you knew that already my smug phantom reader, didn't you? Why do you mock me with phantom tuts and sighs? A shoulder massage wouldn't go a-miss. Why don't you make yourself useful and make me a fried egg sandwich? Again with the tutting.

Other words that I have mispronounced are "oven" and "pizza" (<-- when I was a very young though, I tell you I gave my teacher and the rest of the kids what for). I soon realised my parents weren't infallible, imitation was now out! I sought consolation but they weren't inflatable either. That's when Marvel comics became of primary importance to me, they all can do stuff in there.

I still pronounce "oven" wrong sometimes and wince in expectation of an immigration officer in a cap and an off-the-shoulder number saying "Passport?"- in an Indian accent mind. So many tuts and sighs! It sounds like a human beatbox here. Quite fooonky, funkayy. Yes funky is allowed to be mispronounced. Free at last, free at last. I am quite enjoying the beatbox. Ahh hah! It's is flailing and sputtering- the phatom reader has no power for I have found it's Kryptonite. You is my tool for entertainment/bitch now. Cor, you're makin' a right meal of it, not very stoyc. Hahahahh, can't even tut now can ya? Excuse me while I fetch my limited edition kicking shoes signed by the Dalai Lama.

Memorable Quote

"It's part of our complex history that we're surrounded by beauty that was funded by atrocity" -Mark Steel 23 May 2007 "The Independent"

An update for all my fans!

I had a lovely cuppa today. I still get a thrill as I remember the sun dancing playfully on the surface as I recklessly added a splash of milk and watched it fight,then mingle with the tea, all the while undaunted, I stirred the brew to it's full glory. Due to my devil may care attitude and thin moustache (for I am a bounder) I perched a cheeky Custard Cream biccy on the side. Dats how I'm rollin'.

Hey and to all my girls out derr- I love ya!