I may be annoying but at least I exist.

Friend: I AM modern!
Me: Do you have i-pod innit?
Friend: No I don't.
Me: Hmmm falling at the first hurdle.
Friend: Go on try something else.
Me: Were you into Sex and the City?.
Friend: Yes, loved it.
Me: K, have you bought Jimmy Choos?
Friend: Nope.
Me: Hmmm. Read cosmo?
Friend: Have done. But not a regular reader of it.
Me: I am sorry you do not fit into the media driven perpective of human females. Therefore I conclude you do not exist and are just a figment of my imagination. Are you a furry elephant?
Friend: (Sigh) Yes well done. You're always difficult.
Me: You is Dr Snufflufflegus innit!
Friend: You're just used to having da last word dats all.
Me: Dats all +1

I then do a prolonged victory dance. It involves much pointing at close quarters. I also imitate a mosquito to add extra creepiness.

She doesn't weep, but does look at her shoes.